2001年6月大学英语考试的作文题目(3)

I have drawn up a schedule for your holiday. As you haven’t been to Shanghai before, I guess the first thing you’d like to do is to make a tour of the city. You will find it hard to believe your eyes when you see it, for it is very modern now. So first, we will go sightseeing, such as visiting Yu Yuan Garden and the People’s Square. Then we will do some shopping. If you like, we can go and see some old friends. I bet they will be as happy as I am to see you. What do you think of the suggestions I have made above? If there is anything unsuitable, we can talk about it when you arrive. OK ?
By the way, don’t forget to bring some warm clothes with you, because it is a little bit colder here in Shanghai than in Sichuan.
Remember me to your parents.

8 points
I’m very glad that you will come to see me during the week-long holiday. We have not seen each other for two years. So this time we can spend the holiday together will make me so happy.
Since you left Shanghai two years ago, Shanghai has changed a lot. The city is more beautiful and buildings are higher. You will surely superise the changes. I have helped you to make some arrangments during the holiday. We can go shopping in Naijing Road which is the best road of Shanghai. We can go to people’s square and history museum to visit. We can also visit the JingMao Building which is the highest building of China. Shanghai has many new and good place we can visit. The time table of vist we can make when you come. What do you think of my advice.

评析
这篇文章切题，条理基本清楚，前后也还连贯。作者基本上能表达自己的意思，读者也基本上能看懂。但是，该考生对英语语法和词汇的掌握还需要进一步提高，文章中句子结构上的严重错误较多，有明显的按中文语序造句的痕迹。如：
1． 第1段最后一句so this time we can spend the holiday together will make me so happy
中主语从句this time we can spend the holiday together缺了连接词that,正确的结构应该是(The fact) that we can spend the holiday together this time will make me so happy。当然，如果能改成It makes me very happy to think that we can spend the holiday together this time就更好了。
2． 第2段第3句You will surely superise the changes应改为You will surely be surprised at
the changes。 surprise的意思是“使惊奇”，所以，原文的意思变成“你将肯定令变化惊奇”，而不是“你将肯定对变化感到吃惊”，这样说就不通了。而且在surprise这样的复用式单词上出现了拼写错误。
3． 第2段倒数第2句The time table of visit we can make when you come的次序不符合
英语的习惯，应改成We can make / set up a timetable when you come。
另外，该考生在词的拼写、大小写、名词的单复数以及介词的用法上也出现了各种各
样的错误，说明其英语语言基础还不够扎实，不够全面，还需要相当大的努力才能赶上。
先将原文作适当修改，供读者参考：
I’m very glad that you will come to see me during the weeklong holiday. We have not seen each other for two years. It makes me very happy to think that we can spend the holiday together this time.
Shanghai has changed a lot since you left it two years ago. The city is more beautiful and new high-rises are springing up everywhere. You will surely be surprised / amazed at the changes. I have made some arrangements for your holiday. We can go shopping in Nanjing Road, which is the business center of Shanghai. We can go to the People’s Square and visit the History Museum. We can also visit Jinmao Building, which is the highest building in China. Many other new and wonderful places are also worth visiting. We can set up a timetable when you come. What do you think of it ?